No Time To Die Trailer 1 Response

Now Marvel, THIS is how you do a spy film.

For those of you who don’t know. James Bond was the creation of the man who won the Second World War using only a dead tramp and a plan so crazy that it just might work (No, seriously, he did that- Google Operation Mincemeat if you don’t believe me.)

However, as well as creating Chitty Chitty Bang Bang – One of the great child’s films of the ’60’s he also inadvertently created the longest continually running film series of all time which have grossed over $7.040 billion in total, making it the sixth-highest-grossing film series to date, .

A franchise I love so much, the tables at my wedding were named after the films. And the musicians played the themes. And I had a 007 tiepin on when I graduated.

Naturally I got married in a tux.

So, now that you know that I…. might not be the most neutral person on the planet going in, lets look at the trailer for the 25th film in the franchise starring a man who was announced as James Bond in 2005 and stopped enjoying the role in  roughly 2007. This is his last spin in the tuxedo and whilst I like some of the things he’s done with the franchise his films as Bond have been hit and miss with me pacing him squarely in the middle of Bonds.

Naturally, Timothy Dalton is my favorite Bond and Licence to Kill my favorite Bond film.

Anyway, No Time to Die Another Day finds us with an apparently retired and destined to be newly single Bond taking on the Phantom of the Opera – seemingly with a link to Léa Seydoux’s Madeline Swann after a request from Felix Leighter brings him back into the game.

And straight off the bat, there’s a lot to love here. The cast is amazing, I will always give some serious praise to the fact that the Bond franchise still seems to have no idea what GGI means, instead stubbornly insisting on doing things for real- even if Rachel Weisz has apparently demanded that Craig stop doing his own stunts as he’s getting on in years.

The cinematography looks great, with director Cary Joji Fukunaga  (Beasts of No Nation/ Jane Eyre (2011)) doing an amazing job with seemingly several different shooting styles in one film.

I like the fact that the gadgets appear to be making a comeback including the legendary Aston Martin DB-5 with arguably the greatest weapons in Bond car history lurking behind the headlights.

The film also seems to be running with the idea that the world kept on needing saving without James Bond and as such gives us Lashana Lynch as Nomi a new 00 agent which fits with Bond cannon. There were always more 00’s in reserve just in case something happened to one of them and 007 is only a designation which bond has as long as he’s good enough to have it.

There seems to be a little more humor (mostly coming from Q as Craig’s Bond is a bit of a sourpuss.) But I do have to question the wisdom of lifting music from Mad Max Fury Road because A) a 250 million dollar budget should be enough to afford someone to write your own damn music and B) as much as I love you Bond, your car scenes won’t be Mad Max good. They just won’t.

Not too sure about bringing back Blofeld though. Yes, he and Bond have more of a book rivalry that Holmes and Moriarity (seriously people, moriarity was in 1!!! Holmes book) but as long as he’s just used to give a bit of exposition and plays no more part in the film I’ll keep my toys mostly in my pram.

But on the whole, his is the first Bond trailer in ages that has made me feel psyched and excited to go and see the film on it’s own merits rather than just ‘because it’s a Bond film.’

Welcome back Mr. Bond – we’ve been expecting you.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters Review

First appearing in 1954, where he was a man in a concrete suit (the studio couldn’t afford rubber) menacing a bunch of matchbox toys in a bathtub  and some cardboard sets, Godzilla has been menacing Japan right up until the present day  meaning that it is recognized by Guinness World Records to be the longest continuously running movie franchise, having been in ongoing production from 1954 to the present day.

And yet, despite all that, Godzilla’s never really broken into the mainstream. I mean most people are aware of Godzilla but ask the average movie goer to describe his rogues gallery and I’m willing to bet 95% of people wouldn’t get more than two or three.

That’s probably because most peoples knowledge of Godzilla comes from the 1998 Roland Emerich version (myself included). I caught Shin Godzilla when it came out, wasn’t terribly impressed as the special effects would have been laughed out of town in the ’70’s but I went into Godzilla: God harder looking forward to the experience.

I mean, Pacific Rim is one of my favourite films, I love big monster movies (even if the genre is probably going to go into ‘hibernation’ for a few years) and this film seriously delivers on the whole skyscraper sized monsters going at in multiple environments.

Forget the 2014 versions bright idea of always having Godzilla slightly off-screen until the end (The director claims he was inspired by Jaws but the two films place people in VERY different mindsets which is why most people were miffed. It didn’t help that the human characters were flatter than if Godzilla had stepped on them)

But pretty much all of those flaws are fixed in this film because yes, the human  characters are still flatter than if Godzilla had stepped on them and they spend all their time searching for a McGuffin and staring at screens whilst all the military tech gets shown off to such an extent I had to check the Michael Bay wasn’t  involved.

But you forget about all that cardboard the second that the Titans come on screen and start going for it. Each titan unique and distinct from the other, each with it’s own color scheme so you can quickly identify who’s on screen.

And they look so… beautiful. There are so many frames of this film that would look amazing as posters and the soundtrack!

The traditional Godzilla theme has been turned up to eleven, hell, the whole soundtrack sounds like the composer was told that “This is a movie about skyscraper sized monsters beating the living snot out of each other. Go for it.” And a bonus to whoever put Go Go Godzilla over the end credits. I loved that song growing up and it’s so great to have been reminded of it.

Sadly though, for some reason, a film cannot be two hours of CGI monsters screaming at each other and whilst I like the way the camera panned from an awesome fight to the humans trying to get the hell out of there and then back again. Because that’s the part of the movie that your actually going to care about.

As, well, within about five minutes you’ll have worked out every single piece of cardboard’s complete story ark. I mean, don’t get me wrong, It’s great to see Charles Dance getting work on the silver screen and Millie Bobby Brown again proves that as long as she can stay on the rails she’s going to be one hell of an A-lister in about ten years. It’s just that it’s all wasted. Apart from Ken Watanabe, he’s slightly less wasted than everyone else as he gets, if you squint hard enough something that might resemble a character arc except that you’ll see it coming a mile away.

So, what I’ve said 632 words trying to say is that this film about giant monsters fighting features of lot of giant monsters fighting. It’s tense at times, exciting at others and all the best characters can only communicate in screaming roars.

Sadly though, whilst the giant monster battles are amazing on the big screen, when it comes on the TV, your going to notice that the humans speak only in exposition, their either staring at screens or having some of the worst choreographed gun battles I’ve ever seen.

Yes, gun battles, in a Godzilla movie.

No, me either.

Also, what is it with seemingly every villain in blockbusters wanting to be Thanos? Look, I get it, I’ve worked in retail and try to live in London so I approve of a decrease of the surplus population, but it’s just getting a bit tired as a motivation and doesn’t really make sense here. Debating whether to try to work with or destroy Godzilla, reconsidering our place in the the food chain and desperately trying to work out how to survive against beings that are so far beyond us that they might as well be Gods seems to me to be enough issues for one film.

Except with dialog that most of the time sounds like were in a video game cut-scene just before the player gets handed their objective, maybe it’s best that the villains have such a simplistic motivation.

So, see this on the biggest screen that you can, buy either The Art of Godzilla: King of the Monsters so that you can see those mind-blowing images again and again because on the small screen a lot of the flaws that have been covered up by the sugar rush of the fights are going to become really, really obvious.

Great sugar rush though.

My Score- See It 


The Wandering Earth Review

So this is where we are…

China’s second highest-grossing film of all time, 2019’s third highest-grossing film worldwide, the second highest-grossing non-English film of all time, and one of the top 20 highest-grossing science fiction films of all time….

Is based off a idea that when Superman had it, Batman rejected it out of hand two seconds later.

Superman: Maybe I could move the Earth out of the Way

Batman: If we had a week I couldn’t list all the reasons that won’t work.

(Justice League: Doom 2012.)

Because that’s the plot of this film. Based on a novel which apparently went the Starship Troopers route as aside from the title they appear to be completely separate things sharing only the loosest of themes and possibly a few characters- I would’t know.

But, comparing this to Starship Troopers doesn’t help anybody (aside from reminding me that I am in dire need of a Verhoeven binge) as Starship Troopers was made in the corrupt, decadent, debauched, Capitalistic west. Whereas The Wandering Earth was made in the glorious peoples Republic of China and as such operates under some relatively minor restrictions which are including but not limited to the following:

1)Defamation of revolutionary leaders, heroes, People’s Liberation Army, armed police, national security apparatus, public security apparatus, and the judiciary branch, etc;
P2) ornography and cheap taste: prostitution, rape, masturbation, incest, homosexuality, hentai, sexual assault, sexual violence, extramarital affairs, one-night stand, sexual freedom, wife swapping, prolonged or provocative scenes of physical intimacy;
3) Feudalistic ideology which is pseudoscience: spirit possession, reincarnation, witchcraft, etc.

4) Showcase excessive horror, psychological pain, hysteria, causing strong stimulation to senses and emotions with uncomfortable pictures, lines, music, and sound effects, etc.

And since a lot of big films these days need Chinese box office Renminbi to turn a profit that means hey have to abide by these rules as well. And you wondered why blockbusters have gotten so bland and simplistic in recent years

But back to The Wandering Earth and we discover that the sun was dying out so we built a giant bomb and sent Cilian Murphy to go and debate God with a man made out of pepperoni for some reason.

Oh no, sorry, that was Sunshine- Danny Boyle’s attempt to do the same. I think. That film was weird.

Here, the solution is to instead build 10’000 giant thrusters on the Earth and then push it to a new solar system. A journey which will take 2’500 years, kill everything on the surface which means that giant citys have been built underground to ensure that humanity/morlocks will survive, all the while following… I think one of the space ships from 2001 A Space Odyssey.

As you could imagine with such a simple plan, things go south, a lot of VERY SERIOUS PEOPLE along with an irritating ‘comic’ relief seem to be in a competition to see who can have the noblest death scene set off to try and put things right. By journeying through a load of CGI with a McGuffin in the back of their truck.

And that’s one of the main issues with this film i that there’s no antagonist. No sign of anyone asking if this massive sacrifice is worth it or even a movement to turn the Earth around. Which I gather was a massive part of the book. Instead it’s simply nature as the main villain of the piece which is a shame as without other points of view or even someone to oppose, the films slightly dull. All the characters are generic one dimensional slabs of cardboard who’s ultimate fate you can guess at without much trouble, the CGI ranges from looking like a PS3 cut-scene to slightly above average and it’s all very dull to look at.

Which is a shame as I do like the idea of  a film or TV series about people of a long journey who will die and be forgotten long before the mission is over. The idea of people working towards a goal that they will never see and might be nothing more than a pipe dream to that humanity can go on eking out an existence underground for a few more years is a fascinating idea.

But everyone here is so determined, so committed to this plan that I wound up playing a game of who’s the next to die? Which is never a good sign.

The Wandering Earth is a film that I think would be better as a TV Series. There is a lot of potential in this idea but it needed more interesting, developed, conflicted characters, something to oppose other than the weather and to be honest some more money spent on the special effects.

Which is a shame because seeing films from a different cultures point of view is fascinating but this is just a slightly dull, generic film which wastes a very interesting if slightly far-fetched premise.

My Score- If Nothing Else 

Dumbo (2019) Review

Disney, what the hell is this???

I don’t, in principle have any issues with you reheating some your most popular films though the lens of modern cinema since you made your name reheating old myths and legends before you took over the ENTIRE world of entertainment.

But I do have an issue with how bad their all turning out. God alone knows why you’ve allowed Aladdin to be directed by a man who’s never made a good big budget film in his life (King Arthur: Legend of the Bored anyone?) Even Lock Stock and Snatch were close to 20 years ago and that’s pretty much what he’s coasted off ever since.

The ‘live Action’ Lion King remake is against the trade descriptions act as it’s being made in full CGI and… I’m getting distracted from this latest baffling debacle which somehow had a bigger budget than Captain Marvel and is therefore going to make one hell of a splash when gets declared a bomb in a few weeks. Not enough to do any good, but it’s a start.

Before I go on, I feel I should clarify that I’ve never really cared much for Tim Burton. I liked his first Batman movie and I’ve sat tough bits and pieces of his other films but he’s never done anything for me. I appreciate that he has a unique style but it’s felt very constraining to him as well. As if he’s carved out his little niche in cinema and he’s perfectly happy thank you very much.

But Dumbo is the least Tim Burtony Tim Burton film I’ve seen for a while. Well, I say seen, the film is so dark and grimy to look at that half the time I had no idea what was going on and the other half I didn’t want to.

We blow through film 64 minute film we all know and vaguely remember liking in the first twenty minutes and then were off! Off to where I have no idea, this film feels like Tomorrowland, Free Willy, some sort of satire of Disneys habit of buying EVERYTHING and then stripping it for parts AND a commentary on getting more women into science were all thrown in a blender together (possibly as a reaction to the fact that some aspects of the original film really haven’t aged that well….) Oh, and there’s a flying baby elephant in there as well if your in the mood for some really bad CGI creation that never for a second looks like it’s actually there. I mean, it as never going to look real but for that amount of money it could have looked better.

Speaking of Dumbo, maybe i’m a gruff old traditionalist but I always thought that if you were the name of the film, the  center of the plot description on IMDB (A young elephant, whose oversized ears enable him to fly, helps save a struggling circus, but when the circus plans a new venture, Dumbo and his friends discover dark secrets beneath its shiny veneer) is all about you AND your the only character that your cooperate overlords bothered to make any merchandise for then… well… you should be the protagonist of the movie. As in, you are the center of the story, make the key decisions, and experiences the consequences of those decisions. I mean it’s only been that way since at least 526 BC so you really should have figured out that’s how story’s work by now.

But instead it’s Colin Farrell’s character that has the best claim to being the protagonist. He has the tragic backstory (dead wife, can’t talk to his kids, lost an arm in WW1 and comes home to a circus on the verge of bankruptcy)… oh, did I not mention the legions of pointless human characters? Sorry, I really should have mentioned that.

This film has loads of human characters Farrells character erm… protagonist, his two kids- plot device and ‘subtle’ message, Eva Green as love interest, Danny Devito as comic relief and Michale Heaton with a…. THING on his head as villain and generic cartoon goons as… well… generic cartoon goons. I’m sure they all have names but they made so little impact on me that none of them made it into my notes. Besides, I didn’t pay my money to see a flying elephant movie with loads of subplots about money worries, warnings about trusting ‘The Man.’ And god knows what else this mess decided to be about for ten minutes before getting bored and switching focus to something else.

One thing I would have liked to have it focus on is it’s heart. There’s something cold about the film which meant that I couldn’t connect with it, it looked awful. Every scene cluttered and unfocused, it’s shot really darkly as well. Not as in gritty, but as in dark, no light. It also has that issue of there being so much CGI that it just stands out. There was no real moment that was just allowed to be. To allow us to focus and enjoy the wonders of cinema. Ether the editor had been allowed one two many ‘energy drinks’ or the director was worried that if we were allowed the time to settle and take in a shot then we would realize just how bad everything looks.

And nowhere is this more evident than during this films interpretation of the pink elephants scene. You remember them, right? Of course you do. No matter how much therapy you go through, you can never truly forget them. In the original film their this amazing five minute scene but here it feels like the director was going through a checklist of things people vaguely remember from the original. And it’s edited to within an inch  of it’s life! Instead of being allowed to enjoy this random bit of lunacy it’s simply a few seconds of the pink elephants and then someone commenting on or simply watching them! It doesn’t add anything to the film or provide a respite from what was originally a pretty grim narrative, nor does it allow the director to show us what he can do, it’s simply appears, kills what little plot movement the film had for a minute and then we keep chugging along.

Another few rounds with the editors scissors wouldn’t have gone amiss either.

Anything else?

Oh yeah, the animals can’t talk in this one  and the crows (among the few friendly and intelligent characters in the original film) have gone but to be honest the last thing this film needed was more speaking parts and subplots so I’ll just chalk that up to Tim Burton being so desperate to make his own version of Jurassic Park that he overlooked the little things.

Dumbo  is an over-budgeted mess from a director who tried to put a fresh spin on a classic tale but failed on almost every conceivable level. This film is confusing, uninteresting, awful  to look at and full of characters who couldn’t be any flatter if they’d been run over with a steamroller. It needed to be shorter and actually have it’s title character be more than a prop or wacky animal sidekick. Seriously, the elephant in Operation Dumbo Drop (1955) looked better and played more of a role in the plot than this!

Finally, Disney, please drop this stupid, lazy and entitled approach to filmaking. Surely there must be someone in that mass of congealed money with an original idea? I think you can afford to take a chance or two.

Because, never forget “It was all started by a mouse.” One that could !@”@”! talk.

My Score- Fire 


The Grinch Review

It was with some trepidation

that I approached the latest offering from Illumination

(Those who unleashed those infernal minions upon every poor, blighted nation)

mediocrity is their stock in trade

so, through that is what I expected to wade.

“But”, said a voice inside my head

Your optimism should not need to be be dead.

After all, this film should be a sinch

pretty much everyone knows the story of The Grinch

It’s been made as a film twice before

and only one of those was a colossal bore

starring an unleashed Jim Carrey

and Who’s that veered between creepy and scary.

It was dull and grimy, padded to no end

and watching it again almost sent me around the bend.

But this is new and shiny and nice.

It’s also in 3d which for someone, somewhere is nice.

It stars Sherlock Holmes, Angela Lansbury and more.

wanting trained voice actors? What a bore!

And stepping into the role of narrator,

played by Boris karloff and Hannibal Lector, who could be greater

Than Pharrell Williams (who made that song happy)

Although as narator he’s really quite sappy.

Giving Danny Elfman the score is a decision I adore

but getting someone called Tyler, the Creator to make a Grinchy rap song?

Whoever decided that will have a career that’s not long.

And who the hell decided to put in the Christmas rap from Die Hard?

I have questions which I don’t know I want answered.

But leaving weird, random music choices aside,

there’s some stuff here of which illumination could almost feel pride.

At 86 minutes, the run-time is nearly perfect.

So that box is most defiantly checked.

It’s so bright and breezy,

that I don’t feel uneasy

about saying that a few times I chuckled

but at times my cheer buckled

because at points my own heart grew at least a half size!

The key stories still there

so please don’t despair

when the film takes a quick detour

Because what little this film adds means more

than the Carrey version did before.

And with a run-time far less than that 106 minute bore.

{Doing this review in rhyme

seemed like such a good idea at the time

still, it won’t be the first that a pub was the start point for a crime)

So i’m told anyway.

But if dragged to this film don’t pray.

There are far worse ways to spend part of the day.

It’s animation is fluid, no moment was bad,

The heart wringing moments made me feel sad.

I laughed at it’s jokes

and it never provokes

any rude or crude moments as it’s rating is U!

The perfect rating for a film by Dr Seuss it’s true.

So as I come to my end,

this film will not drive you round the bend.

On the 1966 original it’s not a patch.

but as a cash-grab it’s not that much of a snatch.

Illumination you’ve done it again!

90 minutes of beige to keep the kids quiet

so if you want to prevent a riot

There’s worse you could see

but take it from me

it has no plans to stay long in your head

And you’ll forget it’s small charms before you lay down in bed.

My Score – If Nothing Else

Halloween 2018 Review

40 years ago, John Carpenter pretty much created the slasher genre- whereupon a group of biologically curious teenagers are picked off one by one by a masked unstoppable killer who goes by the name of Michael Myers who… “can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.”

In fact, Myers has Less of a backstory than The Terminator! Myers has no backstory, no explanation of why he does what he does, or even if he’s human or just some ancient, primal force of evil that can only be slowed down but never stopped. He never speaks and the fact that you NEVER see his actual face means that you can’t even read his emotions, a slight head tilt is all your going to get.

He was the first of so many copy’s that it’s insane. But, to my mind? He’s the best. Even if legal issues prevented that legendary mask from being in Baby Driver.

Anyway, this film is set 40 years after the original and joins me in ignoring every single sequel that this franchise churned out. Especially Halloween III: Season of the Witch. That was just…. weird.

Anyway, back to the 2018 offering and it’s a relatively familiar tale. Myers escapes and begin murdering everyone he meets on his way to a final confrontation with Laurie Strode (played by the always and eternally great  Jamie Lee Curtis).

And there is a lot here that’s really, really good. From the moment that iconic theme starts playing you get a sense that this is made by people who get that Myers is a force of nature. I loved that so many people are driven to understand him and frustrated even to the point of madness by Myers refusal to engage with them in any way, shape or form. Which drives a lot of the first act as people try so hard to project what they think must be going on in Michael’s head even as they are told again and again (mostly by Curtis) that their overthinking  Myers.

I even enjoyed some of the films kills, but I find it interesting that in the original film, the body count is a mere 6 (5 if you don’t include a German Shepard). Here? That total is surpassed before the end of the first act! Also, where the first was relatively chaste with it’s violence and quite graphic with it’s nudity, this version is ridiculously graphic with it’s violence and really chaste with it’s nudity. Maybe there’s some sort of comment there on how society has become more open in some ways and yet more prudish in others but i’ll let those with more free time then me pick it apart.

Jamie Lee Curtis is fantastic but she’s basically Sarah Connor Mark 2 who has tried to raise her daughter and granddaughter to be ready for a inevitable conflict that they don’t seem to realize is coming. I enjoyed the doctor who has spent his life studying Michael and, and….

It’s a clone, ok.

I was really trying hard to get into this film because Blumhose make amazing low budget films and I love pretty much everything they do. I love the cast and the way that the iconic theme music is used. I love that Carpenter was involved, but….

There is a difference between making nods to the original and lifting whole scenes, almost frame by frame and giving everyone a smartphone. Scenes that in the original had me scared and worried, here just made me check off an imaginary checklist. And the ending? Well, that’s twenty minutes that could have been handled so much better. I get what it was trying to go for but towards the end it was verging on the slapstick! Pointless slapstick as well. You could have removed it with a slight rewrite and lost nothing at all.

And there were so. Many. Characters. People forget that the first Halloween film was a low budget, stripped down film with no-body there that didn’t need to be there. Here? There were so. Many. Characters who existed purely to die. Half the films body-count could have been removed and nothing would have changed except the run-time.

When it was setting the scene it was interesting, when it was a Halloween film in the second act it was tense, when it was in the third act… it was fine but overlong by the end.

When it’s a modern reboot it’s tense but pointless, well acted and with a few interesting ideas but it goes on too long and it wastes a fairly interesting twist late in the third act. It takes too long to let Myers get on with his thing and to be honest?

I’d still take the original any day of the week.

Halloween 2018 is fine, nowhere near as good as the original but it was never going to be. I saw it, liked it but the more I check my notes, the more I realize that it was fine and all the bits that worked were lifted almost frame by frame from the original. Strip out the last third, reduce the run-time to the 90 minutes  that films like this need to have in a bid not to overstay their welcome.

What a shame.

My Score- If Nothing Else 

The Equalizer 2 Review

Did you know that this is Denzel Washingtons first sequel? He never made Crimson Tide 2 or Mother Goose: A Rappin’ and Rhymin’ Special 2 or The Siege 2: Siege Harder but he returns to this?

The Equalizer verse?

In a way I guess it makes sense- given that this is based off of an old TV show, it would be pretty easy to franchise and the first film wasn’t terrible but it was no Taken either. In fact, I’d completely forgotten that it existed until I figured I should watch it before hitting the multiplex to catch the sequel which… i’m also going to forget exists in well, however long it takes me to finish this review. Say…. 20 minutes? 30 if I have to get another brew.

So, we rejoin Robert McCall, the worlds most perfect human a few years after the first film and find that he’s basically an Uber driving vigilante who’s in perfect control of every situation, reads classical literature, provides a father figure to a local wayward youth and is arguably the most boring protagonist I’ve seen in years.

He has no flaws, no fear, and at no point did he seem to be in danger. And I know that similar claim can be made about Liam Neesons character  in Taken (10 points if you can tell me his name without hitting IMDB or Wikipedia.) But he took damage, he showed emotions, he was in danger and at times seemed like he could fail. In other words, in both Taken films he was human.

He also remembered to have a second act as well.

I mean seriously, the structure of a film should be thus. Person goes up tree, person gets stuck in tree, person gets down from tree. It varies from genre to genre but that’s the basic idea. Here? We spend 42 minutes setting up that Mcall is vigilante Jesus,as well as several pointless subplots before the main plot actually gets going!

I mean, I know that 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything but in a supposed action movie I think it’s a bit much. Especially when the film is a slightly overlong and stodgy 121 minutes anyway, could this not have been cut down?

Anyway, Washington’s only friend is murdered and he embarks on a quest for justice! That…. takes about ten minutes since the villain pretty much confesses and monologues the first chance they get, before we get onto an overlong, tedious, dull third act with no suspense which is all that stands between me and a well deserved pint.

Denzel Washington is one of the finest actors working today and it’s a shame to find him wasting everyone’s time appearing in such an underwhelming film. It’s in dire need of at least 25 minutes being removed as well as least a subplot. Films like this need to be fast paced, with villains who appear to pose a threat to our hero, have more than a handful of goons as well, as well as seeming to actually have an evil plan as opposed to nothing better to do with their or indeed my time. And also, if your going to have the whole ‘dark reflection of the hero’ villain, please, please, please have either of these characters have actual well, character!

Equalizer 2: Equalize Harder is a dull action sequel to a not particularly interesting film. It’s characters are flat, it’s got way too many subplots  all of which are so predictable that I could set my watch to them. All of which adds to the bloated run-time and when there is action it’s not terribly active. Or involving. Or original. Or… I can’t think of any more O words and the kettles boiled.

In short?

My Score- Skip It