Ratchet and Clank Review

I seriously hope somebody got fired over this thing.

Lots of somebody’s actually.

I mean who releases a children’s film the same day as Captain America: Civil War? That’s just guaranteeing that your (already pretty low on the radar film) is going to sink faster than the Titanic.

And that’s a shame because there’s a lot here to like. Despite the fact it’s primarily based off a video game from the PS2. Oh, did I not mention that it’s based on a video game? Yeah, it’s got that going for it as well.

It’s not winning any prizes in the plot department either. A young orphan from a desert planet teams up with a band of rebels to defeat an evil empire with a planet destroying super-weapon. Tell me if that sounds familiar.   

The fact at times it seems like a bunch of cut-scenes got ideas above their station and decided that were a movie doesn’t help, nor does the fact that the film never stops to take time to take a breath or develop character- who has time for that these days?

So whats good about it? Well the voice cast is astonishing, not only did they get the original voice cast back together but they also managed to get such unknowns as Sylvester Stallonne, Rosario Dawson, Paul Giamatti and John Goodman? And make it seem like these people are right for the parts instead of just star-casting for the sake of star-casting?

And one other thing, it’s funny. Not just nostalgia chuckles but actual funny jokes, its inventive and witty and I liked all the charterer’s even though they were all one note cliches.

I’m not going to pretend that this is some sort of classic that will be unfairly denied it’s moment in the sun, because in 2 days I wont remember it at all, but it was fun, fast paced and a nice surprise.

My Score- If Nothing Else 

 

Hitman: Agent 47 Review

  • Hitman: Agent 47 (2015) Poster
  • Rupert Friend as Agent 47, a secret agent who works for a top secret non-government organization called the International Contracts Agency (known in the video games as either the ICA or just the Agency) which carries out the assassinations of high profile targets worldwide.[6]
  • Hannah Ware[7] as Katia van Dees, Agent 90
  • Zachary Quinto[8] as John Smith, ICA
  • Ciarán Hinds as Dr. Litvenko, the founder of the Agent Program and Katia’s father.
  • Thomas Kretschmann as Le Clerq

REVIEW

Based

On

A

Video

Game

Rarely do these words inspire confidence from a (prematurely) jaded film critic. But after some of the “films” I’ve sat through this summer i’ll take it. After all, the title of ‘Worst Video Game Film’ of the year has already been pretty safely given to Pixels hasn’t it?

Well, whilst Hitman: Agent 47 won’t be winning any awards for… well… anything it’s not as bad as Pixels. It’s still pretty bad though.

Having never played the games that the series is based upon I was unaware that Agents are distant relatives of The Terminator. Seriously, in one scene they pretty much repeat the legendary speech from The Terminator and the film does follow a lot of the same beats.

Speaking of beats, this films budget (35 Million dollars) appears to have only stretched to hiring an orchestra for roughly ten minutes as they repeat the same 30 second clip over and over and over again during the fight scenes.

Well, I say fight scenes. 47 is so overpowered that when there was action on screen he never seemed to be in any danger of being hurt or defeated. The whole point of having a 15 rating is that the film can be darker and grittier with more threat placed upon the protagonist. But this? This film feels like it became a 15 by accident. Like it should have been a 12a but someone checked the wrong box.

The plot has holes I could drive an AUDI through (Product Placement FTW!) and brings in issues that the film doesn’t seem comfortable with. It would have been a better film if hat just been about 47 fulfilling a contract. (Except then the film would have been unable to pad its run-time to the meager 96 minutes it currently stands at.) A it’s impossible to care about any of the characters when their limits and abilities are either poorly explained or not at all. Genetically enhanced super assassins being stronger, smarter and faster I can get behind. But I draw the line at precognition.

Do I even have to mention that the villain is a scary as my washing up and his plan is about 5 times more complicated than it needs to be? No? Moving on then.

The acting is passable, but unremarkable. The characters bland and forgettable, the action scenes uninspired and infrequent, the soundtrack repetitive and it feels padded at 96 minutes.

It is one of the least awful films I’ve seen this summer but that not saying much

My Rating- Poor