Monster Trucks Review

Well this is annoying.

Here I am just finishing up my bottom ten for 2016 and out slithers Monster Trucks. A film that was pretty much guaranteed a spot. I  mean, here’s a film literally dreamed up by a 4 year old, sitting on a shelf for a year and a half, stars the hole in the air currently ruining the remake of MacGyver (Yes it exists, yes its terrible, and no, you don’t need to see it.)  Hell,  on September 21, 2016, The Hollywood Reporter claimed Paramount would take a $115 million writedown on the film due to its expected poor performance at the box-office.

And naturally the gorram thing was released in 3d.


It’s actually not that bad.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a masterpiece and I fully understand why several people walked out but for me? It worked. I mean its a better Transformers film than every single live action Transformers film put together.

Three act structure? Check. Narrative that doesn’t have a million holes? Check. CGI that wasn’t excessive despite the films ridiculously high 115 million dollar budget ( For comparison Assassins Creed has a budget of 125 million)? Check. Some  animatronics? Let’s not get carried away here. I mean the script was probably  written by the four year old who’s idea this was (evil company, escaped creature, teenager who’s stuck in a one horse town…. you know the rest)

It’s a shame that several recurring characters, including the main villain appear to have no names (In my notes he’s just evil suit mcbusinessman) but to be honest I only know the main characters name was Trip because it was every third word. And if the stepdad? Could decide whether he was a sympathetic character or a jerk that would be nice.

Speaking of actors, I am prepared to swear on Jennifer Laurence that Danny Glover was never within a 1000 IMDB pages of this film.

Now where was I?

Summing up I think, because there’s not much more to say, I went in expecting a mess for the ages and instead found a perfectly average made for TV film that somehow got 115 million dollars and released onto into my cinema.

How dissapointing.

My Score- If Nothing Else 


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