Batman Vs Superman Dawn of Justice Review

Honestly.

I go away for a week and the entire internet rips itself in two over some Zac Snyder film.

And I can’t work out why.

No, fellow critics, this is not the worst thing in the history of the world

No, audience members, it is not the best thing since tummy rubs.

It’s fine. Is did nothing particularly well , but it did nothing particularly badly either. It just was.

First things first, Ben Afflecks performance is amazing as Bruce Wayne/Batman, he deserves all of the praise he’s getting as he pretty much elevates this film above the dross that it rightfully should be. Gal Gadots fine as Wonder Woman and Henry Cavill as Superman? All i’ll say is that since Superman is an overpowered lump of magnolia with muscles it makes sense to cast a lump of magnolia with muscles in the role.

Why Jesse Eisenburg chose to portray Lex Luthor as some sort of demented Doctor Who is anyone’s guess.

You can break the film into two halves, cod philosophy and numerous plot threads (foreshadowing, so much foreshadowing…) that don’t go anywhere and then at about the half-way point, Mr. Snyder suddenly snapped, yelled “bored now” and the rest of the film de-evolves into CGI creatures punching each other and my girlfriend and I got to play ‘guess what the next line of dialogue will be.’ We both lost because we both won so much.

I don’t know what else to say. It’s a Zac Syder film, you could ask him to remake Pride and Prejudice and it would be slow-motion action packed with all the color drained out of it. See one and you’ve seen them all.

It dark, grey, should have been a 15 and I have no desire to ever see it ever again.

And that goes double for the threatened 3 hour version that might be coming out soon.

My Score- If Nothing Else

 

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