Whilst I’ve been spending this week trying to find instant classic/self indulgent mess By The Sea (No, seriously I can’t find it anywhere.) Not to mention ‘Doge the Star Wars reviews/spoilers/how much would the Death Star cost?’ It seems that quite a few trailers for next summer have been unleashed.
Jesus Christ people I could almost become a dad in that time!
I’m aware that pretty much all these films need to make at least half to a full billion to turn a profit and as such you need to get us excited ASAP but could you not have waited until March? Pretty please.
Anyway, having watched the latest trailers and realizing that I could very easily copy and paste what I thought about the Civil War trailer into every single one of them I thought instead I would just give you my overview of what each trailer seems to represent.
(Note, these are in no particular order)
Star Trek Beyond- Well I see somebody saw Guardians of the Galaxy
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them- This looks like a trailer to a new TV show where someone released loads of animals into the world and has to capture a new one every week.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2- *Film critic goes and cries quietly in the corner*
X-Men Apocalypse- Since when was Ivan ooze a Marvel villain?
Ice Age: Collision Course- Just…. Why?
Independence Day: Resurgence: Does a twenty year old War of the Worlds rip off really need a sequel? Especially one that looks as bland and generic as this?
The BFG- Does this film have a song about farting? No? Then it wont be as good as the 1989 version.
Did I miss any? I hope not. Eight months of Hype for each of these things.
I’m off to find a nice quiet cave on the dark side of Mars to get away from them.