- Colin Farrell as David
- Rachel Weisz as Short Sighted Woman
- Jessica Barden as Nosebleed Woman
- Olivia Colman as Hotel Manager
- Ashley Jensen as Biscuit Woman
- Ariane Labed as The Maid
- Angeliki Papoulia as Heartless Woman
- John C. Reilly as Lisping Man
- Léa Seydoux as Loner Leader
- Michael Smiley as Loner Swimmer
- Ben Whishaw as Limping Man
Plot- In a dystopian near future, single people, according to the laws of The City, are taken to The Hotel, where they are obliged to find a romantic partner in forty-five days or are transformed into beasts and sent off into The Woods.
Review- I’ve been looking forward to this movie ever since I found out about it in the middle of August simply because it has the most unique premise I think I’ve ever heard. And in the hands of someone like Kafka or even the Monty Python this could have been an inspiring, hysterical satire on modern dating culture. Instead its Equilibrium as a rom-com.
There’s an amazing short film in this idea, because as a full length film, its a bizarre, wonderful, slow-moving, failure.
And I do mean slow, I’ve seen glaciers that move faster than this film. It feels desperately padded and towards the end I was defiantly checking my watch more than I should have been.
The film never explains how this world came into being, why everybody has suppressed their emotions and whilst there is about five seconds as to how single people are transformed into animals, it never explains if the person retains their memories and identity afterwards, something that would have added to the film.
Another problem, if a film is meant to have bland dialogue and characters intentionally reduced to being defined by one characteristic (a limp, a stutter, being short sighted etc.) Can I then criticism it for having woeful dialogue and poorly defined characters with the charisma and energy of a magnolia painted wall? Yes, yes I can.
One thing I can absolutely dislike is Rachel Weisz’s attempt at narration, it’s intrusive, sounds like she needs to take a step back from the microphone, delivers information that we have already either worked out or seen for ourselves and even ruins some scenes.
Another thing I can comment on, is the music, mostly because I think the conductor got confused and thought he was doing the soundtrack for a horror film. In scenes that should be quiet and subtle, we can hear an orchestra working itself into a complete lather over nothing at all.
And, on researching for this review, I found out that despite being filmed pretty much entirely in and around one hotel in Ireland, it managed to get money from the Greek Film fund?
Despite the numerous flaws with this film, it’s stuck with me. Unlike many other films, i’m going to keep thinking about it after I post this, what would I be? How did this world happen? How dId the Loners happen? Why is there an award for the best dog, (called appropriately enough the Palm dog when Yoda was denied an Oscar Nomination?
Slow, pondering, slow, poorly explained, slow and with appalling narration, The Lobster might be the most interesting date movie ever.
My Rating- If Nothing Else