Pixels- Review

Pixels (2015) Poster

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Adam Sandler Adam Sandler
Kevin James Kevin James
Michelle Monaghan Michelle Monaghan
Peter Dinklage Peter Dinklage
Josh Gad Josh Gad
Matt Lintz Matt Lintz
Matty
Brian Cox Brian Cox
Admiral Porter
Sean Bean Sean Bean
Corporal Hill (SAS Officer)

Plot- When aliens misinterpret video feeds of classic arcade games as a declaration of war, they attack the Earth in the form of the video games.

Review- Pixels is Adam Sandlers best film in years. Which is a bit like saying that its the least painful kick in the testicles you’ve had in several years. It’s still pretty bad, even if it’s not as bad as you were expecting it to be.

The plot, featuring video game characters being used by aliens to attack the Earth was used to much funnier effect in a Futurama  episode, and that’s one of the main issues with this supposed “Action Comedy.” The action isn’t exciting and the comedy isn’t funny. At all. Ever.

The films best moments were spoiled in the trailer so that when they do happen, instead of being effective and developing character, plot, tension, excitement or anything resembling investment in the film, I just smiled as I realized that the film was getting closer to its ending.

It goes without saying that the film is sexist (women aren’t trophies!) homophobic, nobody seems to care what their doing, especially Sandler. Peter Dinklage is apparently repaying some kind of life debt or lost a bet by appearing in this film and his character is so arrogant that I get the feeling he was just blowing of steam after being in Game of Thrones by playing a cartoon character.

The soundtrack actually made me angry. For the most part is was completely generic. But then, it dared to drag Queen probably the best band of all time who absolutely released the best song of all time into this mess.

The special effects weren’t special. They were bland and for the most part you could tell that the actors were just waving prop guns around and screaming rather than actually being in a firefight.

I could go on, but I’ve already spent too much of my limited lifespan on this… thing. It’s not a film, it’s not entertaining, it’s an 88 million dollar- 105 minute excuse for Adam Sandler to hang around with his friends. Happily, after Hotel Transylvania 2 comes out, he becomes Netflix’s problem and I never have to see or think about him again.

Good Riddance

My Score- Fire 

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